The first session is usually the one people are most anxious about. Which makes sense — you're walking into an unfamiliar room, to talk to someone you've never met, about things that probably feel quite personal. That's a lot.
So here's what actually happens. No ambiguity, no counsellor-speak.
Before you even arrive
If you've booked a free 20-minute consultation first, we'll have already spoken briefly and you'll have a sense of who I am and roughly how I work. If you've come straight to a first session, that's fine too — we just do a bit of that getting-to-know-each-other work at the start.
You don't need to prepare anything. No notes, no rehearsed opening statement, no clear account of what's brought you in. Come as you are.
The practical bit at the start
The first ten minutes or so covers the basics: how sessions work, confidentiality and what it means in practice, how long we meet for, what happens if you need to cancel. I'll ask if you have any questions about any of it. This part doesn't take long, but it matters — you should know what the space is before you start using it.
Confidentiality is worth a specific mention because it concerns a lot of people. What you say in a session stays in the room. There are very limited exceptions — situations where there's a risk to someone's safety — and I'll be clear about what those are. Outside of that, the session is private.
Then we just talk
That's genuinely what it is. I'll ask what's brought you in, and we go from there. There's no structure you have to follow, no particular order things need to come in, no level of distress you have to demonstrate before it counts.
Some people arrive with a very clear picture of what they want to talk about. Others arrive knowing something's off but not quite being able to say what. Both are completely fine starting points. Saying "I'm not sure where to begin" is a perfectly reasonable thing to say, and we'll find a way in from there.
The first session isn't an assessment, it isn't a test, and it isn't a commitment. It's just a conversation.
What you won't get
You won't be told what to do. You won't be given advice, and I won't be working through a list of questions designed to reach a diagnosis. I'm not going to interpret everything you say or offer conclusions about what it all means before you've even had a chance to think about it yourself.
Counselling isn't about me having the answers and delivering them to you. It's about you having a space to think through things properly, with someone who's listening without an agenda. The first session establishes whether that feels like it might be useful.
What if it feels uncomfortable?
It might, a bit. Talking about things that matter to you with someone you've just met is always going to take a little getting used to. Most people feel slightly uncomfortable at first — that's normal and it's not a reason to stop.
What tends to happen is that the discomfort settles as the session goes on, or at least becomes more familiar. By the time the hour is up, most people feel a bit surprised by how quickly it passed and how much easier it was than they expected.
Not always — sometimes the first session is genuinely hard. But even then, people usually leave with a clearer sense of what they're carrying and a bit more space around it than they had before.
At the end of the session
We'll check in about how it felt and whether you'd like to continue. There's no pressure either way. If it felt useful and you want to book regularly, we sort that out. If you want to take a few days to think about it, that's fine. If it didn't feel right for whatever reason, that's okay too — fit matters, and a first session is partly about finding out whether this particular counsellor is the right one for you.
Sessions are 50 minutes, at £50. Reduced fees are available for anyone on a low income, studying, or working in the NHS — just ask.
If you want more detail about the practical side of things, the first session page covers fees, what to bring, and how to book. And if you'd rather have a quick conversation before committing to anything, the free 20-minute chat is a good way to do that.
Questions people ask about the first session
What happens in the first counselling session?
You'll cover how sessions work and what confidentiality means in practice, then talk about what's brought you in. There's no structure you have to follow, no assessment, and no pressure to share more than feels comfortable. It's mainly just a chance to talk and get a feel for each other.
Do I need to know what to say in my first counselling session?
No. You don't need to prepare anything or arrive with a clear account of your situation. "I'm not sure where to start" is a perfectly reasonable opening, and we'll find a way in from there.
Will I be judged in a counselling session?
No. A counsellor's job is not to judge, advise, or tell you what you should do differently. The session is about listening and understanding, nothing else.
Do I have to commit to ongoing sessions after the first one?
No. The first session doesn't commit you to anything. At the end we'll check in about how it felt and whether continuing feels right. You decide from there, with no pressure either way.