If you've never been to counselling before, the first session can feel like walking into an unknown. You might not know what to say. You might worry about being judged, or that you'll have to explain years of your life in one go, or — for reasons I understand completely — that you'll end up crying in front of a stranger.
Let me try to settle some of that, because most of what people imagine about their first session isn't quite how it goes.
It's not an interview
One of the most common misunderstandings is that the first session is some kind of assessment — that you'll be interrogated about your past, your childhood, your worst moments. That's not what person-centred counselling looks like.
In our first session, I'm not there to extract information from you. I'm there to meet you. The conversation goes at your pace. You share what you feel comfortable sharing, and nothing is pushed.
Yes, I'll probably ask what's brought you to counselling. But "I've been feeling really low lately and I'm not sure why" is a perfectly complete answer. You don't need a prepared speech.
What we'll actually cover
Practically speaking, here's what tends to happen in a first 50-minute session:
- A brief explanation of how I work — so you know what to expect from person-centred counselling and can decide if it feels right for you
- Confidentiality — I'll explain what this means and when (rarely) the exceptions apply. Knowing this tends to help people feel safer speaking openly
- What's brought you here — whatever you want to share about what's going on for you right now
- Practical logistics — session frequency, how to get in touch, what happens if you need to rearrange
- How you're feeling about it all — because I genuinely want to know, and it matters
That's it. No homework. No diagnoses. No pressure to have it all figured out.
"The first session isn't about solving anything. It's about creating a space where solving things eventually becomes possible."
What if I don't know what to say?
This comes up more than almost anything else. People arrive convinced they'll sit down and immediately go blank.
It rarely actually happens — when someone asks a genuine, open question like "what's been going on for you?", most people find that words start coming. But even if they don't, that's fine too. Sitting with uncertainty is something we can do together.
There's also no rule that says you have to talk in a linear, organised way. You might jump around. You might start somewhere unexpected. That's completely normal.
Do I have to cry?
No. Though if you do, that's also fine.
Some people cry in the first session. Some people don't cry until session six. Some people never cry at all in the counselling room and do all their processing in the car on the way home. There's no correct response to counselling.
How will I know if it's working?
You probably won't know after one session, and that's okay. A first session is as much about you getting a feel for me — whether you trust me, whether this feels like the right fit — as it is about anything else.
Person-centred counselling isn't a quick fix. It's a process of gradually understanding yourself better, making sense of your experiences, and building the kind of self-awareness that creates lasting change. That takes time. But most people notice something shifting within a few sessions — not necessarily a dramatic breakthrough, more like a subtle sense that the weight of it is becoming slightly more manageable.
What if I decide it's not for me?
Then we stop. It's that simple. There's no contract to honour, no awkward conversation to have. Counselling only works if you want to be there, and the choice to continue — or not — is always yours.
The free 20-minute consultation I offer before a first full session exists precisely for this reason. It gives you a chance to get a sense of how I work and whether you feel comfortable — without committing to anything.
Common questions about first sessions
What happens in a first counselling session?
You and your counsellor get to know each other. Your counsellor will explain how they work, discuss confidentiality, and invite you to share what has brought you to counselling. You set the pace — there is no pressure to share everything at once.
Do I have to talk about everything straight away?
No. You share only what you feel comfortable sharing. A first session is about establishing trust and seeing whether this counsellor feels like the right fit — not about laying everything bare.
How long is a first counselling session?
A standard session is 50 minutes. The free initial consultation I offer is 20 minutes — enough time to talk about what has brought you to counselling and whether you want to go further.
Can I do a first session online?
Yes. Online counselling works just as well for first sessions. Many people actually find it easier to open up from their own home. All you need is a private space and a reliable internet connection.
If you're in Liverpool and thinking about counselling, or if you're anywhere in the UK and considering online sessions, I'd love to hear from you. The first step really is the hardest one — and once it's taken, things usually start to feel a little less overwhelming.
You can read more about what to expect from a first session here, or book a free 20-minute conversation below.